i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
