Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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