i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
