Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
