the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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