There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
