are you still at the devil's house?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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