You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My penis needs a shock collar
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
