Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
