she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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