I wanna passion pit in your ass
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
