Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize