My nipple is on Facebook.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
