Plan B is the new Plan A
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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