I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
