anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
