Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
