my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
