Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
