i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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