I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
