It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
