just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
