ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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