I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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