brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
