champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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