i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
third nipple confirmed
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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