Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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