i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
