Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
