How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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