mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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