i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
