I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
