yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
