Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
