So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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