Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
