i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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