Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
