so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how can u be prego again
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
