Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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