meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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