$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
