just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
