that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
