dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
