Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
