We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
