You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Pooping to opera.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize