You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
