she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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