Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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