Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
