So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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