he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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