Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
