If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
