you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
