There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
