Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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