sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm gonna fight the coyote
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
